Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
