my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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