oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
