just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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