Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
