You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize