but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
