U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
