Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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