Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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