mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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