i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love having hate sex.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
