i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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