All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
