I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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