they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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