what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
