Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You pole danced in your parka.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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