Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
