my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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