Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
