I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
