i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize