Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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