we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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