OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Small penises have feelings too.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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