and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just google imaged poop.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
