my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
