you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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