Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
