I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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