I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
