Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
