omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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