Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize