If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
