garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
