so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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