Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
