ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
