Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
