Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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