Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
