If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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