I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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