you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
