By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
