Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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