saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
