I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
