Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize