I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
