i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
