I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
