It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
