I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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