They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
