foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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