but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize