I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
