Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
