Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
