I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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