btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
